Presence is key to taking our sexual intimacy deeper and especially if you want to take your experience to heightened levels of surrender, union and intuitive insight. These are all necessary if you are wanting to take your orgasmic energy to a wilder extension of ecstatic awareness.
 

This subject comes up again and again in my sessions with people sharing that they are in the heart of sexual intimacy and pop they are of in some thought process totally unrelated to the present moment. There are many reasons why we do this which I will share in the next thread.
 
 I see life as a training ground for the different systems of our bodies :- Physical / sensation based, emotional, energetic, psyche, thoughts, energetic systems….etc. What ever we repeat, what ever habits we continue to play out trains the system to respond in the way it is used to and this often filters into and through all of our systems.

Especially in this time of social media and the scrolling nation, our minds are starting to be trained towards quick bursts of stimulation and then move on. This starts to effect our sexual play also. If the mind is getting used to moving from next to next and we don't give it a level of mastery and a place to re set its self then we become highly distractable and lost in looking for the next, often too busy to train it to stop and stay present in every day activity. When we open into a heightened sexual energy amplifying our creative potency, which if allowed, then energy moves straight to a monkey mind, we lose the power and connection to where our amazing bodies can open into - full of sensory delights, union and beyond.

I am happy to be sharing with you a simple technique to start this re training of your mind - and to make more space for you - that which is within your centre - the witness to know that you are the weaver / magician / manager / boss / CEO that weaves the other in the team to work in balance and harmony.

One of the factors that can stand in the way of this surrender is the  "Monkey Mind" with its cheeky ability to dodge and distract - all because of the training that we have given it - especially when it comes to really deeply feeling in our body. Now is the time to take charge again.

This subject comes up again and again in my sessions with people sharing that they are in the heart of sexual intimacy and pop they are of in some thought process totally unrelated to the present moment. There are many reasons why we do this which I will share.

It is commonly misunderstood that the mind is the brain - it is not. The brain is a physical object that can be seen with the eyes and has physical substance.

The mind is not a physical object. It cannot be seen with the eyes or touched with your hands. The brain is not the mind but a physical part of the body that houses the function and sensation of thought.

The mind is a formless state and because the mind is formless it is not obstructed by physical objects or physical space, meaning we can travel anywhere and perceive anything with the mind.

It is of supreme importance to befriend the mind, the mind is an amazing part of our collective system and when befriended and used wisely we can achieve incredible things for our life.

First one needs to tame the mind, because, most of us have allowed our mind to run wild since childhood due to not having the education needed to assist us to handle positive and negative thought patterns.

Our personal life experiences combined with how much we have trained our mind will effect the state of our inner mental peace which in turn is dependent on how much we buy into our personal story.

When I talk about the story, I mean one’s interpretation of any said situation. Letting go of it serves us so that we can then feel the core emotion that has been triggered as sensation, only then will it pass though our system - if not we end up letting the mind hold the body hostage to the emotion by rewinding the story over and over again. This is how dis-ease is created in the body by dragging the system back into triggered emotion from a story that is not currently happening.

We often think that our suffering is caused by other people, or by poor material conditions, or by society - on some physical levels of course this is true but how we perceive it changes our response to it. In reality it comes from our own state of mind about the situation, our relationship to the story. When we change our perception of and relationship to the story of any situation, then magic happens.

When we increase the energy flow within our body, especially when increasing our sexual energy, it is even more important to work with letting go of the stories that we hold about ourselves and others, so that we can let go into the altered state of bliss that is sexual union.

The essence of this practice is to reduce inner mental noise and regain mental clarity so we can use our mind at it’s optimum potential instead of it being caught in the realms of past stories which are then projected into the future which causes fear and anxiety.
 
 That is not to say that we do not honour our life journey and deny the challenges that have made us who we experience ourselves to be, but, that should be celebrated as part of the great expression of life and not hold ourselves hostage to it believing that it is who we are.
 
 If we want to become free from problems and attain continuous peace, then we need to increase our knowledge and understanding of the way that our own mind works and befriend it, create boundaries for it so that it can fly free where we want it to.
 
 So taming the mind starts with stilling the mind and bringing it back in from running wild.

I hear so many stories of disassociation while making love, especially from women. This can be created for many different reasons and is often an conscious or unconscious survival strategy.

Survival strategies are there to help us navigate challenging situations, for most of us our survival systems are not so much about protection from real threat like wild animals. Back in time in human history this would have been the case, and of course for some still is, but for the western cultures it is more emotional survival that has become our nervous systems primary focus for strategy.

Of course, if someone has experienced abuse of any kind then the body can be left with a survival thread of its own. This often has woven within it a strategy created by the mind to keep us physically safe and is often a form of disassociation. So from which ever direction you are coming from with wanting to transform your sexual experience, the mind is an important place to spend time re training.

In times gone by, the practice of Tantra and Taoism would only be shared with students once they had conquered their mind and emotions so that the enhanced and expanded energy could not flow into an unstable mind or emotional body which was seen as dangerous and destructive.

If you have been sexually, emotionally or physically abused then I highly recommend body/mind focused healing sessions.

When sexual energy is aroused in the body things start to move on all levels. Not just your sensations but your energetic bodies start to stir. The beauty of sexual energy is that it creates change and cleansing through our whole system. Part of its process starts to shift and move any stagnant patterns and behaviours including the patterns of the mind! First it amplifies them so that you can meet them and transform them.

This is why I want to share a simple but effective process, to re train your mind how to come back to its central and stable point so that the sexual energy moved is released into a spacious expanse of infinite union rather than just amplifying your stories.